Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships

In this episode, Tabitha Westbrook talks and sexual abuse within the church, childhood and with being married to a sex addict. She weaves neuroscience, embodiment, and story into her work with survivors of betrayal trauma and sexual harm. Tabitha shares why understanding your nervous system, connecting with your body, and reclaiming your voice are essential steps in the healing journey.

This episode explores:
- How trauma lives in the nervous system
- The power of naming your story
- Reclaiming pleasure and body connection after betrayal

This conversation is especially powerful for survivors of betrayal trauma, therapists seeking integrative models, and anyone longing to feel safe in their body again.

#TraumaHealing #NeuroscienceOfTrauma #BetrayalTrauma #TabithaWestbrook #StoryAndHealing #SomaticTherapy #ReligiousTrauma #ChristianTherapist #WomenHealing #EmbodiedHealing

How do you begin healing from trauma especially when self-hatred feels like second nature?

In this honest and hopeful episode, Dan Drake, Tim Stein, Jeannie Vattoune and guest Tabitha Westbrook speak directly to survivors at the beginning of their healing journey. They explore what it means to show kindness to yourself, how deeply harmful theology can distort your self-worth, and how to take small, meaningful steps toward believing you are lovable and valuable, whether you're faith-based or not.

Topics include:
- How trauma teaches self-abuse—and how to challenge it
- The importance of kindness and self-compassion early in recovery
- Using affirmations and "opposite action" from DBT to shift how you feel
- Why distorted theology can damage identity, and how to reclaim truth
- The power of body posture and presence in reinforcing your worth
- Encouragement for survivors wrestling with faith, shame, and healing

This is one of the most grounding, relatable episodes for anyone beginning the work of trauma recovery and rebuilding their sense of self.

#TraumaHealing #SelfCompassion #TabithaWestbrook #SexualTraumaRecovery #FaithAndHealing #DBT #OppositeAction #ChristianTherapist #ReligiousTrauma #IdentityHealing

How do you start a conversation about sex and trauma in the church—one that feels safe, honest, and healing?

 

In this powerful episode, therapist and author Tabitha Westbrook shares the surprising origin of her new book on sexuality and healing for survivors of trauma. What started as a single teaching session at a retreat turned into a book that gives language to the experiences many survivors never thought they could say out loud. Tabitha reflects on writing from her own story, the importance of compassion over condemnation, and how she hopes this work opens doors—for faith-based women, pastors, and even those outside the church.

 

This episode covers:

- Why survivors need more than a retreat—they need resources

- How her book is giving voice to hidden stories

- What makes it safe for women in the church to talk about sexuality

-- How the faith-based framework is used (without Bible-thumping)

- Why even secular readers can benefit from the book’s insights

- Addressing spiritual abuse and harmful messaging head-on

- Using neuroscience and embodied practices in healing work

 

Whether you're a ministry leader, a therapist, or someone on your own healing journey, this conversation offers a compassionate, grounded path to understanding and restoring your sexuality.

 

#TabithaWestbrook #SexualHealing #ChristianTherapist #TraumaRecovery #FaithAndSexuality #ReligiousTrauma #WomenInTheChurch #HealingJourney #BodySoulHealedAndWhole #Neuroscience

How has purity culture in evangelical Christianity shaped views on lust, sex addiction, and shame and what needs to change?

In this powerful conversation with Tabitha Westbrook we unpack how distorted teachings about lust and responsibility create division between men and women in the church. They discuss the deep harm these messages cause, the rising incidence of addictive behaviors, and the urgent need for the church to evolve.

Key topics include:
- Misconceptions about lust, sin, and personal responsibility
- The impact of purity culture on men’s addiction and women’s shame
- Signs of hopeful change, including important voices and research challenging the status quo
- Why honest conversations about sexuality and trauma are vital for healing
- Resources like the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit for providers and communities

If you or someone you love is navigating recovery in a faith context, this episode offers compassionate insights and a call for growth and transformation.

#PurityCulture #SexAddiction #EvangelicalChurch #ShameAndHealing #FaithAndRecovery #SexualIntegrity #TraumaHealing #AddictionRecovery

We will be exploring the language around binge/purge cycles, acting in versus acting out, and the idea of switching addictions or the “whack-a-mole” effect.

The discussion digs into the difference between sobriety and recovery, why consistency matters, and what partners can look for when trying to determine if change is genuine.

Have a question you’d like featured in a future mailbag episode? Send it to conversations.sar@gmail.com

If you find this episode helpful, remember to like, subscribe, and share. Doing so helps others discover these conversations and find the support they need.

#BingePurgeAddiction #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #WhackAMoleAddiction #ActingInVsActingOut #DryDrunk #EmotionalRecovery #PartnerSupport #AddictionEducation #TraumaHealing #CompulsiveBehaviors

They haven’t acted out in a while but is it recovery… or just the purge phase?

In this episode, Dan Drake Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein take on a powerful listener's question about the binge-purge subtype of sex addiction. When someone stops their acting out behavior for long stretches of time, it can look like sobriety but is it actually recovery, or just a temporary pause in the addiction cycle?

The discussion explores what binge-purge really means (and how it's different from recovery, sobriety, or even cross-addiction), how to identify signs of “acting in” behaviors like emotional shutdown or passive-aggressiveness, and why some partners still feel unsafe even when no sexual acting out is occurring.

They also discuss the “whack-a-mole” pattern of addiction and how to spot deeper patterns of compulsive coping, even when sex is off the table.

#BingePurgeAddiction #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #WhackAMoleAddiction #ActingInVsActingOut #DryDrunk #EmotionalRecovery #PartnerSupport #AddictionEducation #TraumaHealing #CompulsiveBehaviors

How can you tell if someone is truly in recovery or just white-knuckling their way through another cycle of sex addiction?

In this deep and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein explore the difference between sobriety and true recovery. Sobriety is what someone doesn't do. Recovery is what they do. And that distinction makes all the difference.

Using analogies like beach balls under water, binge/purge cycles, and emotional suppression, they unpack the red flags that indicate when someone might be suppressing behaviors rather than healing and what it actually looks like when someone is leaning into recovery with vulnerability, honesty, and consistent action.

If you're watching someone go through the motions and wondering, “Is this the real thing?” this episode will help you clarify the signs.

#AddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #SobrietyVsRecovery #WhiteKnuckling #SexAddictionHelp #RelapsePrevention #RecoveryJourney #TraumaHealing #RelationshipSupport #SpiritualRecovery #12Steps #BoundariesInRecovery

How do you measure trust after betrayal and how much is enough to stay?

In this honest and practical conversation, Dan Drake, Tim Stein and Jeanne Vattuone explore the “continuum of trust” and how partners can assess where they are and what they need after betrayal trauma. They break down how both the partner and the addict play a role in rebuilding what’s been lost.

This episode is packed with clinical wisdom and tangible steps for those navigating the rocky path of recovery, relapse, and reconnection.

#BetrayalTrauma #AddictionRecovery #RelapseAutopsy #TrustAfterBetrayal #CouplesHealing #SexAddictionRecovery #RelationshipRecovery #TraumaHealing #FindingTheWayThrough #RebuildingTrust

What really happens the moment after betrayal shatters your world?

In this powerful episode, Rebecca Crews reflects on what life looks like 15 years after D‑Day, the moment everything she thought she knew came crashing down. She shares how her intuition refused to be silenced, the sleepless night that led to truth, and how it felt to have her entire reality suddenly split in two.

This is a raw and reflective look at betrayal trauma: the chaos, the unraveling, and the unexpected wisdom that comes from deep betrayal. Rebecca opens up about how her body knew long before her mind caught up and what it means to reclaim your voice after devastation.

#BetrayalTrauma #Dday #MarriageRecovery #Infidelity #WomensWisdom #Intuition #HealingJourney #PostTraumaticGrowth #RebeccaCrews #TerryCrews #RelationshipHealing #FaithAfterBetrayal #SexAddiction

What happens when your gut screams at you that something is seriously wrong and you're finally brave enough to listen?

In this gripping episode, Rebecca Crews shares the night everything unraveled. It was February 10, 2010, what they now call D‑Day. Her husband, Terry Crews, was on set across the country. One unanswered call turned into a sickening gut feeling, and by morning, a marriage-shattering confession.

From prophetic intuition to years of hidden pain, this episode pulls back the curtain on the moment betrayal came to light. Rebecca describes the rage that surfaced, the sudden knowing that something was deeply wrong, and how an ordinary Friday night call became the beginning of a total life transformation.

Rebecca walks us through the first chaotic phase of betrayal trauma, offering a powerful lens into the early hours of discovery and the raw emotional aftermath that would shape the next 15 years of their life and marriage. This is not just a story of betrayal, it's a story of awakening, truth, and the first step toward deep healing.

#BetrayalDiscovery #BetrayalTrauma #MarriageAfterInfidelity #GutInstinct #PropheticWisdom #TerryCrews #RelationshipHealing #PostTraumaticGrowth #FaithAndMarriage #RebeccaCrews #SexAddiction