Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships

Why Isn't My Partner Loving Me? A Hard Look at Partner's Reactions to A Recovering Addict

In this thought-provoking April Mailbag episode, the hosts unpack a listener's email that dives into the painful space between recovery and reconnection. Why do some partners struggle to re-engage even when the addict is “doing the work”?

Is it unresolved trauma, unspoken resentment, or just the truth of incompatibility? With candid insights into addiction, healing, and the emotional toll of long-term damage, this reflection offers a powerful reminder: recovery is only part of the story. What happens next is just as critical—and often more complex.

Understanding Kink: Healthy Expression or Hidden Addiction? -- Dr. Stefanie Carnes Explains

Kink. Fetishes. BDSM. Are they expressions of healthy sexuality—or signs of addiction and unresolved trauma? In this powerful and nuanced conversation, Dr. Stefanie Carnes joins the Conversations on Sex Addiction and Relationships team to unpack what kink really means, how it intersects with sex addiction, betrayal trauma, and recovery, and what therapists and couples need to know when navigating arousal templates, consent, and communication.

Whether you're in recovery, partnered with someone who is, or simply curious, this is the kink conversation most are afraid to have—until now.

When Kink and Sex Addiction Recovery Collide – Dr. Stefanie Carnes

What happens when non-traditional sexual behavior, recovery, and relationship dynamics intersect? In this 3.5-minute deep dive, Dr. Stefanie Carnes explores the delicate balance of reintroducing sexual expression in relationships impacted by sex addiction and betrayal trauma.

From managing arousal templates and consent, to honoring recovery boundaries and partner triggers, this conversation opens up crucial dialogue for couples and clinicians alike. Tune in to find out more.

Kink or Addiction? How to Tell the Difference: Dr. Stefanie Carnes Explains

Is kinky sexual behaviors a healthy sexual expression or a sign of addiction?

In just 2.5 minutes, Dr. Stefanie Carnes unpacks the critical difference between kink and compulsive sexual behavior. Whether you're a therapist, someone exploring your sexuality, or simply curious, this short but powerful conversation tackles the intersection of healthy sexuality, fetish, BDSM, and when it might cross the line into addiction.

Don’t miss this essential guide to understanding what the difference is—and what might be an escalation driven by addiction.

When Is the Right Time to Make Amends?

Is there a "right" time to make amends in sex addiction recovery? What if the person in recovery isn’t following the 12-step model—or isn’t “there yet”? In this heartfelt discussion, we explore how true amends are less about perfection and more about presence, intention, and accountability.

This episode breaks down what “living amends” really means—how small, consistent, and humble actions can begin to repair trust even before a formal ninth step. We also look at how couples navigate the tension between healing timelines, what good recovery looks like even without a program, and why it’s never too early to take ownership of harm.

If you’re wondering how to start showing up for your partner, even while still figuring things out yourself, this episode offers clarity and hope from a place of honesty and grace.

When Parents Hurt Without Knowing: How Betrayal Trauma Impacts Children

What happens to children when they grow up in a household shaped by addiction, betrayal, and emotional absence? In this emotional and raw conversation, we explore the long-term impact of sex addiction on kids—and what parents can do today to help stop the cycle.

Through lived experience and clinical insight, the discussion touches on how a parent’s unhealed shame, absence, or addiction—whether it’s to substances, sex, or emotional avoidance—can lead to deep developmental wounds in their children. Even when unintentional, the emotional neglect, rage, and instability create a lasting imprint.

This episode is a call for healing—for parents to begin their own recovery journey, to understand the power of safety, emotional regulation, and honest repair. Because healing your inner world can change how your children experience theirs. 

#TherapistTalks #MentalHealthMatters #Hidden #CulleL.VandeGarde

What Does Real Amends Look Like? Humility, Healing & Showing Up Daily

Making amends isn’t just a step—it’s a way of living. In this powerful and honest conversation, the hosts explore what it truly means to make amends in sex addiction recovery, especially when it comes to relationships. From the early days of confusion and disclosure to those pivotal “aha” moments when empathy finally lands, this episode breaks down the real heart behind the amends process.

Together, we discuss:

When is the right time to make amends?

What does a living amends actually look like?

How can you repair relational damage when the hurt runs deep?

Why waiting for the perfect moment could do more harm than good

This episode offers both betrayed partners and addicts a grounded, compassionate understanding of how to rebuild trust—not just through apologies, but through humble, consistent change.

If you’re on a recovery journey or supporting someone who is, this is the insight you’ve been waiting for.

#MakingAmends #LivingAmends #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #RelationshipHealing #12StepRecovery #TrustRepair #HealingTogether #HumilityInRecovery #RecoveryJourney #TherapistTalks #EmotionalRepair #AddictionSupport

When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: Making Amends That Truly Heal

In sex addiction recovery, there’s a moment—often unexpected—when everything shifts and the addict really "gets it". The defenses fall, empathy clicks into place, and for the first time, the betrayed partner feels truly seen and heard. This episode dives deep into that moment—the turning point in recovery when an addict can finally make meaningful amends.

Join us as we explore how amends aren’t just about apologies, but about transformation, timing, and truly taking responsibility—not only for the betrayal itself, but for the emotional aftermath during recovery. From the addict’s growth process to the partner’s need for safety and repair, we break down what genuine, healing amends look like.

Whether you’re in the midst of recovery or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers real insight, validation, and hope for building something stronger on the other side of broken trust.

#MakingAmends #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #LivingAmends #RelationshipHealing #CouplesInRecovery #TraumaInformedCare #12StepRecovery #HealingTogether #InfidelityRecovery #EmotionalHealing #TherapistTalks #RecoveryJourney #SexAddiction

The Truth About Amends in Sex Addiction Recovery - Can You Ever Make It Right?

What does it really mean to make amends after betrayal? In this deeply vulnerable and honest episode, therapists explore the amends process from both the addict’s perspective and the betrayed partner’s experience. It's not just about apologies or flowers—it’s about understanding the full emotional impact, taking responsibility, and learning how to rebuild trust over time.

We unpack the emotional weight behind amends in sex addiction recovery, why it can’t be rushed, and how true healing requires empathy, accountability, and a whole lot of humility. If you’ve ever asked, “How do I make things right after breaking trust?” — this conversation is for you.

Whether you’re on your own recovery journey or supporting someone through theirs, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate perspective on one of the hardest parts of the healing process.

#SexAddictionRecovery #AmendsProcess #BetrayalTrauma #RelationshipHealing #MakingAmends #RecoveryJourney #TraumaInformedCare #12StepRecovery #EmotionalHealing #AccountabilityMatters #TherapistTalks #HealingFromInfidelity #TrustRecovery

"Talking About Being the Adult Child of a Sex Addict and the Legacy of Sex Addiction with Culle L. Vande Garde "

What happens when you grow up in a home where sex addiction, secrecy, and emotional disconnection define the family dynamic? In this intimate conversation, the author of Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts share how the book came to life—and why it's opening doors for healing across generations.

Featuring Culle L. Vande Garde, one of the co-authors and a certified sex addiction therapist, this episode explores the 12 core characteristics of adult children of sex addicts, the invisible weight of carried shame, and what it truly means to reclaim your voice, your story, and your right to healing.

Whether you’re a clinician, a survivor, or someone trying to make sense of your past, this discussion brings clarity, compassion, and hope. Learn how shame gets passed down, what recovery really looks like, and how to begin rewriting your narrative—one truth at a time.

#LightInTheDarkBook #AdultChildrenOfSexAddicts #GenerationalHealing #CarriedShame #SexAddictionRecovery #TraumaAwareness #FamilyOfOriginWork #EmotionalHealing #BreakingTheCycle #ShameResilience #InnerChildHealing #RecoveryJourney #TherapistTalks #MentalHealthMatters #Hidden #Culle L.VandeGarde