Conversations on Sex, Addiction, and Relationships

Healing After Sex Addiction Betrayal: Navigating Sex Addiction in Relationships - Mail Bag

In this episode, we explore the complex impact of sex addiction on relationships, focusing on the grief, loss, and emotional struggles faced by betrayed partners. Unlike addictions to substances like alcohol or drugs, sexual betrayal carries unique challenges, affecting both the addict and their partner on deeply personal levels.

We discuss:

Understanding the addict’s unconscious drives and needs

The partner’s journey through grief, anger, and healing

How empathy and deconstructing behavior can aid recovery

Resources like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) and sexual anorexia support groups

The delicate process of navigating emotional and sexual boundaries in a relationship

If you or someone you know is dealing with betrayal trauma, sex addiction, or sexual anorexia, this discussion offers guidance, resources, and insights to begin the healing process.

💬 Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below — your story may help someone else on their healing journey.

Why Some Sex Addicts Withhold Sex: Understanding Intimacy Anorexia & Betrayal in Marriage

In this episode, we dive into a listener question about a sex addict who withholds intimacy while engaging sexually with others. Many partners struggle with betrayal, confusion, and grief when their spouse avoids connection at home but seeks it elsewhere.

We explore the concept of intimacy anorexia, why addicts withdraw sexually, and what it might mean for the future of a marriage. Our discussion covers:

Recognizing patterns of sexual avoidance and betrayal

Understanding the emotional impact on the betrayed partner

How to approach healing and communication in complex relationships

The psychology behind why some partners “play married” instead of fully engaging

If you’ve ever felt sexless in your marriage, betrayed, or just confused about your partner’s behavior, this conversation is for you.

💡 Take action: If this topic resonates, subscribe for more discussions on marriage, intimacy, and relationship healing. Share your thoughts in the comments—your story may help someone else feel seen.

Why People Seek Emotional Validation Outside Their Relationships | Understanding Fear & Avoidance Pattern

In this episode, the Conversations team explore why some individuals seek emotional or physical validation outside their intimate relationships. Often, it’s not about sex but about fear, trauma, or unmet emotional needs in the primary relationship. They discuss how past experiences, including childhood trauma and early relationship patterns, can create unconscious behaviors that affect trust and intimacy in adult relationships.

Viewers will learn about:

How fear and avoidance shape relationship behaviors

The role of childhood experiences in adult connection patterns

Emotional vs. physical fulfillment in relationships

Common patterns when relationships become more intimate or face life transitions, like having a first child

Understanding these patterns can help individuals navigate relationships more consciously, foster deeper connections, and address unresolved fears and trauma.

💬 Join the conversation: What patterns have you noticed in relationships around trust and connection?

Betrayal Trauma from Cheating: Why “Just Move On” Hurts Healing

What happens when a betrayed partner feels invalidated, not only by the one who hurt them, but also by a professional who should be offering support?

In this conversation, experts discuss how the way a question is worded can shift the entire meaning, and how outdated therapeutic approaches may unintentionally cause harm.

The discussion also highlights the painful reality for betrayed partners who often feel they must advocate for themselves—not just in the relationship, but even with the therapist.

Key insights covered in this video:
- Why wording and energy behind questions matter in recovery discussions
- How betrayal trauma can be dismissed or minimized by outdated advice
- The impact of therapists who are not trained in betrayal trauma modalities
- Why betrayed partners often feel forced to advocate for themselves
- How accountability, empathy, and updated research can change the healing process

Healing from betrayal and addiction recovery requires more than surface-level advice. Both individuals deserve accurate support, empathy, and a pathway to rebuilding trust.

Watch now to learn how professionals, partners, and those in recovery can work toward healthier, research-backed healing.


#BetrayalTrauma #AddictionRecovery #RelationshipHealing #TraumaInformedCare #TherapistTraining #HealingJourney #AccountabilityInRecovery #TraumaHealing

Is Betrayal Trauma Detrimental to an Addict’s Recovery?

What happens when a betrayed partner is told that their trauma is detrimental to an addict’s recovery?

In this discussion, we unpack why this perspective is outdated, harmful, and rooted in misunderstanding.

We explore the difference between sobriety and true recovery, how shame resiliency plays a role, and why betrayal trauma responses are valid—not intentional attempts to sabotage healing. Recovery requires accountability, empathy, and facing reality, not avoidance.

Key insights in this video:
- Why betrayal trauma is not detrimental, but a natural trauma response
- The difference between recovery vs. sobriety in addiction healing
- How shame resiliency supports accountability and growth
- Why outdated therapeutic advice can harm both the addict and the betrayed partner
- The importance of seeing trauma responses as unintentional, not blame-worthy

Healing is not about avoiding the mirror that a partner holds up—it’s about learning to face it, accept responsibility, and build resilience. Both individuals deserve support and accurate, trauma-informed guidance to move toward real recovery.


#BetrayalTrauma #AddictionRecovery #ShameResilience #TraumaHealing #SobrietyVsRecovery #RelationshipHealing #AccountabilityInRecovery #HealingJourney

Christian Partners of Sex Addicts; Tabitha Westbrook on Embodied Recovery

In this episode, Tabitha Westbrook talks and sexual abuse within the church, childhood and with being married to a sex addict. She weaves neuroscience, embodiment, and story into her work with survivors of betrayal trauma and sexual harm. Tabitha shares why understanding your nervous system, connecting with your body, and reclaiming your voice are essential steps in the healing journey.

This episode explores:
- How trauma lives in the nervous system
- The power of naming your story
- Reclaiming pleasure and body connection after betrayal

This conversation is especially powerful for survivors of betrayal trauma, therapists seeking integrative models, and anyone longing to feel safe in their body again.

#TraumaHealing #NeuroscienceOfTrauma #BetrayalTrauma #TabithaWestbrook #StoryAndHealing #SomaticTherapy #ReligiousTrauma #ChristianTherapist #WomenHealing #EmbodiedHealing

Healing After Trauma: Embracing Self-Compassion and Identity with Tabitha Westbrook

How do you begin healing from trauma especially when self-hatred feels like second nature?

In this honest and hopeful episode, Dan Drake, Tim Stein, Jeannie Vattoune and guest Tabitha Westbrook speak directly to survivors at the beginning of their healing journey. They explore what it means to show kindness to yourself, how deeply harmful theology can distort your self-worth, and how to take small, meaningful steps toward believing you are lovable and valuable, whether you're faith-based or not.

Topics include:
- How trauma teaches self-abuse—and how to challenge it
- The importance of kindness and self-compassion early in recovery
- Using affirmations and "opposite action" from DBT to shift how you feel
- Why distorted theology can damage identity, and how to reclaim truth
- The power of body posture and presence in reinforcing your worth
- Encouragement for survivors wrestling with faith, shame, and healing

This is one of the most grounding, relatable episodes for anyone beginning the work of trauma recovery and rebuilding their sense of self.

#TraumaHealing #SelfCompassion #TabithaWestbrook #SexualTraumaRecovery #FaithAndHealing #DBT #OppositeAction #ChristianTherapist #ReligiousTrauma #IdentityHealing

Why I Wrote About Sex and Trauma in the Church | Tabitha Westbrook on Healing & Her New Book

How do you start a conversation about sex and trauma in the church—one that feels safe, honest, and healing?

 

In this powerful episode, therapist and author Tabitha Westbrook shares the surprising origin of her new book on sexuality and healing for survivors of trauma. What started as a single teaching session at a retreat turned into a book that gives language to the experiences many survivors never thought they could say out loud. Tabitha reflects on writing from her own story, the importance of compassion over condemnation, and how she hopes this work opens doors—for faith-based women, pastors, and even those outside the church.

 

This episode covers:

- Why survivors need more than a retreat—they need resources

- How her book is giving voice to hidden stories

- What makes it safe for women in the church to talk about sexuality

-- How the faith-based framework is used (without Bible-thumping)

- Why even secular readers can benefit from the book’s insights

- Addressing spiritual abuse and harmful messaging head-on

- Using neuroscience and embodied practices in healing work

 

Whether you're a ministry leader, a therapist, or someone on your own healing journey, this conversation offers a compassionate, grounded path to understanding and restoring your sexuality.

 

#TabithaWestbrook #SexualHealing #ChristianTherapist #TraumaRecovery #FaithAndSexuality #ReligiousTrauma #WomenInTheChurch #HealingJourney #BodySoulHealedAndWhole #Neuroscience

Breaking Purity Culture: Healing Sex Addiction and Shame in the Church with Tabitha Westbrook

How has purity culture in evangelical Christianity shaped views on lust, sex addiction, and shame and what needs to change?

In this powerful conversation with Tabitha Westbrook we unpack how distorted teachings about lust and responsibility create division between men and women in the church. They discuss the deep harm these messages cause, the rising incidence of addictive behaviors, and the urgent need for the church to evolve.

Key topics include:
- Misconceptions about lust, sin, and personal responsibility
- The impact of purity culture on men’s addiction and women’s shame
- Signs of hopeful change, including important voices and research challenging the status quo
- Why honest conversations about sexuality and trauma are vital for healing
- Resources like the Sexual Integrity Leadership Summit for providers and communities

If you or someone you love is navigating recovery in a faith context, this episode offers compassionate insights and a call for growth and transformation.

#PurityCulture #SexAddiction #EvangelicalChurch #ShameAndHealing #FaithAndRecovery #SexualIntegrity #TraumaHealing #AddictionRecovery

Binge-Purge with Sex Addiction Explanation and Exploration: Whole Mailbag Episode

We will be exploring the language around binge/purge cycles, acting in versus acting out, and the idea of switching addictions or the “whack-a-mole” effect.

The discussion digs into the difference between sobriety and recovery, why consistency matters, and what partners can look for when trying to determine if change is genuine.

Have a question you’d like featured in a future mailbag episode? Send it to conversations.sar@gmail.com

If you find this episode helpful, remember to like, subscribe, and share. Doing so helps others discover these conversations and find the support they need.

#BingePurgeAddiction #SexAddictionRecovery #BetrayalTrauma #WhackAMoleAddiction #ActingInVsActingOut #DryDrunk #EmotionalRecovery #PartnerSupport #AddictionEducation #TraumaHealing #CompulsiveBehaviors